Thought Provoking

Today a man (who I could tell was married by the ring on his ring finger) comes into the store, and as I rang up his cigarettes..

He asks "Are you married?"
With out skipping a beat I answer "Yes"
Then he asked "Happily?"
I laughed and said "Happily? Well, it all is left up to interpertation,
but happy enough."

Pretty simple questions, and answers..
But after he left I started thinking..

Am I happy..
What is happy..
Is anyone truly happy...

Then I giggled and thought, I wonder about his wife..
Does she ask, or questions her marriage?
Wouldn't it be ironic if she is doing the same thing to him..
What would he think..

All too often people assume they are the only one unhappy in a marriage..
That the spouse is sitting back being good..
What is the possibility at that exact moment, a man was asking his wife
the same questions..
And how was she answering them..

I know I am not happy every minute of the day..
Nor am I living a magical marriage..
No one is happy every minute of the day..
It is up to us to find the positives in our relationships..

People that don't look to find the good..
Don't every seem to be happy,

There is your "Happly Ever After"

What did I do?

I have tried to fix every mistake you believe I have made..

I would go back in time to stop what pain I have caused..
Some times I think it is useless..
No matter what I do it is not enough for you..

I am at a loss..
I no longer know what direction to take..
All I wanted to do was fix you and I..

I am not perfect, and you say to me..
"I am not looking for perfect"..
Then what else can I do..

When I beg you to tell me what I should do..
I get no responce..
Now I am left with no path to take..

I am no longer mad at what I have tried to do not working..
I am no longer sad for what I try to acheive not making a difference..
I can't try any more..

The pain I feel came the moment I realized nothing is possible..
That is the moment I threw in the towel..
The moment I finally stepped back and said..

"I'm done"

Marriage

Effort: The two must show effort, the hardest thing is to put the same
amount of effort at the same time.

I have learned the hard way, that losing the effort is probably the most common issue in most marriages. It takes a lot of work to hold a marriage together. It takes a lot more effort to say nice things when you are mad, or just not as interested as you were the first few months of being with someone.

Time: Taking time out to show that person you are with that they matter.

Everyone has time, but after years of knowning someone, things are easy to get set on the back burner. Other things become more important, but if you step back you realize, your mate is (and should always be) your top priority. Everyone should tell that friend, I think tonight I am going to spend some time with my "Honey". Sometimes just coming out from no where and grabbing your mate and taking a walk, or a sit can do wonders for a tired marriage.

Laughing at the small things: This is a must!

After time, you find yourself dull, not willing to smile as much as before. Remember back when you first got together and every thing would make you giggle. Try it again, some times a laugh here and there can change a hole day!

Money: This is a very difficult subject, and one that should be handled with care.

I do believe each person in each relationship should carry their own weight. I understand that not everyone can work, but if you don't do things that can be considered "pulling your weight" Laying on the couch is not this! If you can work, do it! Nothing feels better then being able to say you put in a hard days work, and your mate will appreciate you for this. I have shared the money, and seen the side where we both have our own money. I like it better that we have our own money, it makes us both feel important. When we pull money out of our pocket to help the other it shows we care!

Not going to bed angry: WOW, this is a hard one.

If you can work issues out before going to bed DO IT!!! Although, this can be a challenge. If you can't don't flip out some times rest is the best thing for an disagreement! Just don't leave things with loose ends, now that doesn't mean use a sledge hammer to beat the issue! In relationship you will find that it is alright to disagree, just find a common ground.

No one said marriage is easy, but with work and determination you can find that the one you married is still in there!