Effort: The two must show effort, the hardest thing is to put the same
amount of effort at the same time.
I have learned the hard way, that losing the effort is probably the most common issue in most marriages. It takes a lot of work to hold a marriage together. It takes a lot more effort to say nice things when you are mad, or just not as interested as you were the first few months of being with someone.
Time: Taking time out to show that person you are with that they matter.
Everyone has time, but after years of knowning someone, things are easy to get set on the back burner. Other things become more important, but if you step back you realize, your mate is (and should always be) your top priority. Everyone should tell that friend, I think tonight I am going to spend some time with my "Honey". Sometimes just coming out from no where and grabbing your mate and taking a walk, or a sit can do wonders for a tired marriage.
Laughing at the small things: This is a must!
After time, you find yourself dull, not willing to smile as much as before. Remember back when you first got together and every thing would make you giggle. Try it again, some times a laugh here and there can change a hole day!
Money: This is a very difficult subject, and one that should be handled with care.
I do believe each person in each relationship should carry their own weight. I understand that not everyone can work, but if you don't do things that can be considered "pulling your weight" Laying on the couch is not this! If you can work, do it! Nothing feels better then being able to say you put in a hard days work, and your mate will appreciate you for this. I have shared the money, and seen the side where we both have our own money. I like it better that we have our own money, it makes us both feel important. When we pull money out of our pocket to help the other it shows we care!
Not going to bed angry: WOW, this is a hard one.
If you can work issues out before going to bed DO IT!!! Although, this can be a challenge. If you can't don't flip out some times rest is the best thing for an disagreement! Just don't leave things with loose ends, now that doesn't mean use a sledge hammer to beat the issue! In relationship you will find that it is alright to disagree, just find a common ground.
No one said marriage is easy, but with work and determination you can find that the one you married is still in there!
