Courage......

I am working in Moffatt where every one I know, knows my husband. This has me in an emotional roller coaster. Every time some one comes in I begin crying like a big baby. I used to work at this place I loved so much, but with the ups and downs of my marriage trying to get my life in order I left in a hurry. Although, I knew I shouldn't walk away like I did, I felt like I didn't have another choice. I know it left a bad taste in their mouth about me, and I am sure some may think it is wrong that I try to come back.

I call it the walk of shame. I will have to enter the door, walk past the people I left hanging (with my head hanging low), then step into the office and face the two people I probably let down the most. I know they don't me, it is really me who needs them. They have always been there for me like a family, and right now I need a support system. I know after what I did it will be difficult for them to open up their arms and take me in.

I don't know what I will say and I don't know if this will be an emtional meeting. I know I have learned from my past and am willing to fix what I did. I hope tomorrow goes well.

Me.......

Who am I with out you? I guess for years I haven't asked myself. You and I riding this roller coaster we call marriage. Strong willed, loud, full of spirit, and very little give. Our children watched us for years, and now think normal is this. What have we done to them? What have I done? We lost ourselves to the rage inside. It wasn't hard to see what should be done, it was hard to do it.

Are you looking down now?

You were strong
He always looked up to you
He followed your every step
He inspired to be like you
As you worked in the shop he copied your every move
He began working using all the things you taught him
Pleasing you was his want.........

Then you were gone
He shut down
He turned away his family
Gave his job up
He had no want....will
Lost, confused, angery, and powerless
With no more goals we watched him fade away........

Are you looking down?
If you are I wish you could reach down and put your hand on his shoulder
Comfort him, give him that will he use to have
He needs your words, whisper them down to him
Tell him he will be alright
Light the path for him, so he wont fall too many times

It is true life can be gone in a second
Hold on tight because no one knows when they will leave this earth

I only knew you for a short time but you held my heart the day we met
You gave the man I love all the qualities any man should have
Please help him............