I will always be there....

When your baby gets hurt life becomes simple.

I look into her teary eyes, and I start to tear up,
I always said I would never let any thing happen to you,
The hardest thing for a parent is to realize you can't protect your kid from everything.

All I want is to hold you, protect you,
Tell you life is full of flowers and candy,
but as you learn how painful some things are I see you grow.

I may not be able to always protect you,
I might not always be able to catch you when you fall,
But I will always be there to hold your hand through everything!

It is just who I am....

I had a roller coaster of a up bringing. Mostly my own doing, my childhood was one I wouldn't wish on anyone. I was lucky when my dad married my mom I know now. Taking us girls out of a horrible start of life.

I left home pretty young to find me, I think I found much more. I lived in some torn down homes, finding any where to lay my head down. My mom tried her best to pull me out of the places I was in, but I ran further away.

I am sure she cried many tears over me, yet I couldn't bring myself to ease her pain. As I lived this crazy life I learned how to depend on myself, sink or swim as so many say. I trusted only myself. My mentality was greatly alerted by these years. Although, painful, sad, and lost most of the time, I survived.

After some time I came back home, but my way of thinking was to far gone, they opened their arms, and loved me so, but I just couldn't share who I use to be. I never asked for sympathy, or felt as if I was given a bad hand in life.


Now a days, my life with my family is still strained, but time to time I show the person inside and for a minute all seems right to the world.

Courage......

I am working in Moffatt where every one I know, knows my husband. This has me in an emotional roller coaster. Every time some one comes in I begin crying like a big baby. I used to work at this place I loved so much, but with the ups and downs of my marriage trying to get my life in order I left in a hurry. Although, I knew I shouldn't walk away like I did, I felt like I didn't have another choice. I know it left a bad taste in their mouth about me, and I am sure some may think it is wrong that I try to come back.

I call it the walk of shame. I will have to enter the door, walk past the people I left hanging (with my head hanging low), then step into the office and face the two people I probably let down the most. I know they don't me, it is really me who needs them. They have always been there for me like a family, and right now I need a support system. I know after what I did it will be difficult for them to open up their arms and take me in.

I don't know what I will say and I don't know if this will be an emtional meeting. I know I have learned from my past and am willing to fix what I did. I hope tomorrow goes well.

Me.......

Who am I with out you? I guess for years I haven't asked myself. You and I riding this roller coaster we call marriage. Strong willed, loud, full of spirit, and very little give. Our children watched us for years, and now think normal is this. What have we done to them? What have I done? We lost ourselves to the rage inside. It wasn't hard to see what should be done, it was hard to do it.

Are you looking down now?

You were strong
He always looked up to you
He followed your every step
He inspired to be like you
As you worked in the shop he copied your every move
He began working using all the things you taught him
Pleasing you was his want.........

Then you were gone
He shut down
He turned away his family
Gave his job up
He had no want....will
Lost, confused, angery, and powerless
With no more goals we watched him fade away........

Are you looking down?
If you are I wish you could reach down and put your hand on his shoulder
Comfort him, give him that will he use to have
He needs your words, whisper them down to him
Tell him he will be alright
Light the path for him, so he wont fall too many times

It is true life can be gone in a second
Hold on tight because no one knows when they will leave this earth

I only knew you for a short time but you held my heart the day we met
You gave the man I love all the qualities any man should have
Please help him............

Miles apart........

Our chairs are separated by only 3 feet
Feels like miles

A king size bed is thought to be the perfect size
Feels to me like miles between

A 2 bedroom apartment where most would bump into each other
Feels like miles, not even a touch

A phone to connect people together
Yet I wouldn't know how unwanted I am if I didn't have one

I don't remember walking these miles that is between us
Now I have no clue how to walk back

I own a gun, I love my right to bare arms but you can't ignore........

Today alone 225 people have died by the hand of a person with a gun.

In one year the misuse of a gun....

17 in Finland
35 in Australia
39 in England and Whales
60 in Spain
194 in Germany
200 in Canada

9,484 in the United States

Guns don't kill it is the people who get a hold of them. What to do with those people?

Todays numbers are now 226 from the minute you started to read this.

Welfare.........

I heard a guy talking about how he has no problem sitting on his ass, letting others work for him. He was speaking about him and his family being on welfare. I have needed help from time to time, but quickly pulling myself out of it and back on my feet.

Something is wrong with people who drive around in their brand new cars "flossing" wearing the latest fashions, pulling out a food stamp card to pay for candy, sodas, and power drinks. You people make me sick. It is not a shocker, most the people I know speak on how they feel when it comes to the abuse of welfare.

Some people having kids to get more benifits, poor kids having ignorant parents to place them in this world for their own benifit! And we wonder why child abuse is so high. The thing is we can't expect the lazy, ignorant screw offs in this world to have a light bulb moment and say I need to get a job, or I should prepare myself better before I have a child so I don't have to be on welfare. So who the hell is going to fix this?

Do you think if you made it to where only vegetables and water or healthy drinks could be bought on food stamps, that you would have all these leaches sucking it dry? And if your dumb ass drives up in your brand new car, with some high dollar shit on you automatically get denied! These people aren't even scared of getting caught, shouldn't that say something. They walk into the welfare office and turn in a application for food stamps all the while talking on their brand new $500 phone!

A momma unleashed!

School called testing is done and they try to tell me they don't see a learning disability! What a bunch of bull shit! I have a half a mind to go up there and give them a piece of my mind!

The schools don't want to shell out the money, don't feel the need! She is two years behind and they want to dismiss it. What is a tired mom suppose to do at this point?

My sister has yet to get over her touch phobia!

No need to think too hard......I am what I am

I am a pretty simple chick, I hate ignorant people, I am quick to say shut up if you try my patience.  I can hang out with people, but remember I can hang by myself just as easily.  I am not afraid to cry, I have no soothing sounds to listen to when I lay down, nor a good book to snuggle up with at night.  When I talk to someone about my life it is not an invite for you to tell me what I should do, it is simply me thinking out loud and you just so happen to be next to me at the time. 

Well enough for right now, give me a little bit and I will find something to speak on, whether you like it or not!